Breathing Again

Honestly........probably this last year in my life has brought all of the below.

I'm coming out of a season of great emotional loss and like the little green peas in my garden , who inch by inch are continuing their journey upwards toward the light....and producing all the fruit within their ability to produce.........

I feel the 'shift' within me from death to life.............
from mourning to dancing ...............

Like being under water...disoriented.....and with that first gulp of air when the lungs breathe in the oxygen from the small amount of space that distinguishes drowning from swimming naked, newborn, into the calm waters of life.................

I'm alive..........I'm breathing........I'm swimming............I feel again...........and it is good.

Ecclesiastes 3
1There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.


An UnMerry Christmas

An UnMerry Christmas

The Ghosts of Christmas Pasts are attached to every  
Christmas word, song, smell and tradition.
Feeling like a knife that scrapes away little pieces of my heart,
leaving it shredded and bleeding.

The bright lights
meant to please just
hurt my eyes,
that are puffy from crying.

Crowds that once
empowered my
extroverted personality,
now leave me feeling drained.

Christmas music I use
to hum and sing along with,
just lure me to a door on my heart
with a protective “do not enter" sign.

Smells of festive foods
bombard my memories with
meals I use to prepare
and served to loved ones.

Decorated trees have no place in my home
to stand towering - pointing branching fingers
toward loved one’s residual energy
whose physical presence can no longer be felt.

There is a time to be merry, and a time to grieve.
Grieving feels real and that’s okay for now.
To grieve does not require effort
or pretense.

It is in reality my “UnMerry Christmas.”
Please let it be what it is and help
me respect its power to pass through my heart
and life this year without pretense.

Written by Debbie Kesley


Confessions of a Broken Winged Hippy Chic

"Sometimes I just Cluck better than Soar with my Angel-Winged Self!"  Written by Debbie Kesley


Summer Storms in Life

Summer Storms
Making all things new in some way. 

Rain, falling freely,
A gift from the Creator.
Washing away the dust, grime and pollen
While watering the tender bamboo transplants and the strong trees standing tall.

Does rain in the physical reality possibly
Represent times in our life when out of no where
The storms blow in,
Sending us running for cover from it’s power?

Do the strong roots of those tall places within us
Soak up the power of change
Transforming it into deeper roots
Of wisdom and strength?

Do the tender, newly transplanted areas of
Our life benefit from the pounding,
Soaking aspects that makes us
Reach deeper for the roots to grow?

Summer Storms
Making all things new in some way. 

Written by Debbie Kesley  at  ccpmsblues.blogspot.com


Why Me?

Question asked "Why Me"?

Answer "  Why Not You?"

End of Story:  Written by Debora Kesley


Seeds We Sow

Photo taken by Debbie Kesley

"Sometimes the seeds we sow.............take a few drought years, rainy seasons , scorching hot times of no relief and years of question before they bloom." written by Debbie Kesley


Butterfly Emerging and Breaking Free


I feel like a monarch butterfly emerging ......right now......I'm in the "cracking open" "getting a breath of fresh air" "dizzy as hell......breaking loose from all that which squeezed the breath out of me!" sort of release. 

As freeing as it is.....and I know it is......I'm also somewhat disoriented......in taking a new form of existence to everything I've experienced as reality for a long time

Written by Debora Kesley